Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Taking the High Road

I just came back from voting. It always feels good to practice citizenship...& how about the people in New Jersey, New York & Staten Island...if they can VOTE, then so can everyone! Before I get into today's blog, I want to remark on "personal resilience." Working with people with disorderly eating & other major problems, I am always moved by how much personal power we each harbor inside ourselves & how we seem to be blind to what we are made of. Today, I ask you to look inside yourself & honor that area of "YOU." Now, I continue along with meeting my writing deadlines, getting ready for some workshops in January 2013 & in June. Working far ahead, but in the meanwhile I'll take a few minutes for my NHBPM project. Today's CHALLENGE - Write about a time you had to take the high road... I was thinking about this when journaling this morning. Many experiences rushed into my mind, wanting to be "the one" chosen. It was funny to watch them push each other around...."I'm more important than you." "No, I'm more important." I finally decided to just sit back & let the experiences decide between themselves. Here is the result of the outcome.... now, I may look like a little girl sitting on a tree stump, but there is power in that stump ! TAKING THE HIGH ROAD... When we moved to Florida I had difficulty finding a job that aligned with my career path. I never expected to have this problem, but the reality was that I couldn't find a job. In addition, I needed health insurance & a wage that didn't leave me feeling that my employer was taking advantage of me. I sent out almost a hundred resumes, to no avail. Finally, I accepted a job as a visiting nurse. It didn't take me long to understand why that job was available. There was more wrong with it than right. I also figured out that when adding up all the hours, I actually made more money babysitting in high school. Then, I got a call about a better paying job...one with a desk in an air-conditioned office & no weekends or beepers or night calls.I even had a title & a business card...Director of Quality Assurance. I readily accepted it. While the pay wasn't great, I accepted the reality & got on with it. A few months into the job I began to notice certain "happenings" in the office. The long & the short of it was that I was working in the middle of a Medicare & Medicaid Scam & now I was given assignments that involved my participation. Of course, I said "no", but what I didn't know was that I now "knew too much" & that meant that I was now seen as a "dangerous person." What followed was extraordinary in my life experience, as I know little about criminal life. I had decided that I had to get out, but this was not going to be as easy as just quitting. My name was on certain papers & my license, credibility, integrity & career were at stake. As life would have it, it got worse before it got better, but strangely enough this worsening gave me an unexpected exit. One day after going to the ladies room I was called into the director's office. There were two people waiting for me. The receptionist had already warned me that she had been told "not to put any calls through." My antennae were up...& rightly so. I was handed a work review that was filled with lies & distortions & told to sign it or "I would be sorry." I refused. Then, one of the men stood up & raised his fist at me & said, "This is what you are going to GET if you don't sign it." Now remember, I was sitting down with him standing over me. I remember being shocked, like I was watching some movie. At that moment the phone rang & he leaned back...swearing at the receptionist who defied him. As he grabbed the phone, I ducked under his arm & ran out of the office, locking myself in my office. Then, the receptionist told me when it was safe, so I left the building & got in my car. I drove home, thinking what to do. I could certainly quit, but I would never feel safe again. Or, I could go to the police & get a restraining order. I did both, but the police called the FBI & told me to get an attorney. OH OH...talk about the High Road, but I still wasn't on it. The Attorney told me that I had to return to work the next day, pretending that nothing had happened. Meanwhile, actions were being taken by all the authorities. I honestly didn't believe I had the GUTS to walk back in that office & pretend like that, BUT I did. I can still see the look of the faces of everyone. There I was like nothing happened....ho hum. Then...two hours later it began....FBI agents, police, hospital administrators, yelling, screaming & yes, swearing at me. STILL NOT THE HIGH ROAD.... Everyone was fired but me. I was given two months off, but then told that I had to go back to work there for three months before they would give me a letter of recommendation. Again, I didn't think I could do it. Again, I was wrong about myself.... So, when someone asks me IF I can change my eating habits, give up sugar & junk food & walk a new path to permanent lifestyle change....I SAY...YES I CAN!

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