The Missed Appointment

One of my patient's cancelled her appointment. Hearing the news, the peach recliner beckoned to me, or was it another part of me doing the beckoning. This wasn't my usual response to a cancelation, but for some reason I must admit to feeling some level of happiness. Another part of me slammed the door, telling me that I had too many other obligations and deadlines. Much better ways to spend my newly found free time. I know this part well. Always raining on my parade. It's a very old part, even older than me. Noticing that it doesn't even want me to write about it here. Sacrilege. Shining a light on family secrets, rules and regulations. "Time is not for wasting. Time is for doing." Even the message feels tight, uncomfortable and confining.

Thinking that all is lost, I let go of any ideas I might have had about moving over onto the peach recliner. Accepting my fate of always following that stick-carrying part of me, I wait for further instructions. After all, that part is right. I do have lots of "real work" waiting for me and I could utilize this time in a better way. Feeling a bit self-righteous, better than those people who just sit around whiling away their hours in purposeless play.

"Move over to the peach recliner." The instructions, kind, but firm, like a parent or teacher or healer reaching my ears. I'm waiting for the rebuttal from the stick-carrier, but there is silence. My body moves over, as if being transported on some sort of effortless conveyance. I check my watch. The hands are gone. How will I know when my time is up? A feeling of "no-need-to-think" answers my question. Wow...I rather like that part. It's like being absent from mySelf.

Sinking back into the recliner, being pulled down gently, traveling quickly and finding mySelf in the parking lot of my office building. What? Hearing the rain and wondering if my car windows are closed. This isn't exactly what I had in mind. Two cows appear, signaling for me to follow them, so first I check the car windows and then follow the cows. It takes me a few moments to realize that it is very odd to find cows in the parking lot, but I couldn't care less. They're quite a bit ahead of me, so I quicken my step, noticing that I'm passing some beautiful landscapes. A few other animals appear, letting me know I'm on the right road. I'm floating now, moving faster over the pastures and can see my life area underneath me. My feet turn downwards, making it easier to land. Noting that I'm wearing golden shoes with an ankle strap, like Mary Jane's. I have no idea if I'm an adult or child, and once again, couldn't care less.

The path is also golden, with clearly marked gardens on each side. I'm requested to follow the path past the bend to the right. In the distance is a huge rainbow, housing a light underneath it. To the right and left are chairs, divided into sections by the golden path.

A parade of child-like individuals parade in, some going to the right, others to the left. I'm told there is a chair for me directly on the path, in front of the light, but then I notice there are two chairs, side by side. I sit in one, observing the parade. The individuals on the left are a bit messy in appearance, some bigger than others. I notice the stick-carrying person, rather surprised to makes it's company here, although it pays no attention to me as it takes it's seat. Those on the right are a mixture of big and small, all very neat and composed. The chair next to mine is now occupied with someone that seems familiar, but I can't seem to remember where we met before. There is no conversation from anyone, as if the light has hypnotic qualities. I can sense a great respect. A powerful energy is obviously present. This is a spiritual moment, but it's still not clear to me what's going on. The compulsive part of me wants to talk to the person in the next chair, but I sense mySelf being pulled deeper into the chair where I'm sitting, so I'm assuming that something is going on, even if I don't understand what it is.

The child-like individuals, to the right and left, are now bathed in light. Those to my left becoming smaller, while those to my right become bigger. I notice black drops leaving the fingers of those to my left, falling onto the path and transmuting into golden dust. Those to my right are also producing golden dust, but there are no black drops, just pure gold. Each child-like individual has a small container and is filling it with the dust. Each takes their leave, walking under the light and the rainbow for destinations unknown by me. There goes the stick-carrier.

The person who sits next to me tells me that my emotions have been called for a balancing of sorts. Those to the left were my negative emotional states, those to the right my positive emotional aspects. Rather at a loss for words and feeling a bit shy. "I seem to have many negative parts." Goodness, I even run mySelf down here! This doesn't go un-noticed.

"It's time for you to respect all parts of yourSelf. Each part of you has something to offer. Now you are being invited to the schoolhouse where each emotional state will teach you something you didn't know before."

"When will this happen?" That's me....always compulsive and in a rush.

"When it's supposed to happen"...comes the Wise Reply.